Leave Them Anywhere But Here

This one is for all of the parents out there that have kids under the age of 5.

Eating out can be a fun and adventurous time for you.  It is a time to get out of the house, away from cleaning up after kids and a time to relax.  This being said, if you want to eat out with your kids feel free to do so.  However...let me make myself clear on this.  There are places to take your little shit head kids and places not to.  The places to take little kids would include McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, Chucky Cheese, or really any other place that has a kid playland and is centered around family dining.  Now let me tell you places not to take kids that are under the age of 5.  To start off with and this will basically sum it all up, anywhere that you have to leave a tip.  Now let me give you some reasons why.  People (meaning adults) like to go out to get away from lots of kids running around, screaming, dumping things over the seats and onto your lap.  Adults enjoy time to talk to each other without having to raise our voices to do so or stop talking to wait for some ignorant parent to realize that everyone in the restaurant is looking at them because their child is being the loudest thing since the space shuttle took off.  Now, if you are a parent that says to yourself that "My kid isn't like that", you're fucking wrong.  Because even if you have a quiet kid, that child hasn't mastered eating yet and will dump half of his food on the floor.  Now you say to yourself "oh the waiter will clean it up" and you are right, however that is not there job to clean up food off of the ground because you don't clean up after your own kid.  But if this is the case, you better fucking tip that waiter/waitress good.  Because the last thing they want to be doing is serving you food and cleaning up more than just the table.  So I guess the moral of this thought is if you haven't already guessed get a babysitter, leave them in the car or just don't go out to a nice restaurant.  After all it was your choice to have little shits, not everybody else's who want to have a nice, quiet and peaceful dinner.